Winchester Row, July 6, 1785.
I received my dear brother's epistle, and have considered the matter he wrote to me about. God has not confined us to a single life; but Paul tells us, that the married person is often caring for the things of the world, how he may please his wife; but the unmarried person cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. The apostle gives this as his judgment, for he does not pretend to have had any particular command from God for it; yet we know that married people have a deal of trouble in the flesh; and our blessed apostle would have us without worldly carefulness.
However, a man that fears God is not to be burdened with worldly cares how to please his wife; a wife should be an helpmate for man, not a rival of God; nor would any gracious woman desire it.
You are at liberty to marry who you please, if she be in covenant with God, unless such relations as God's law forbids. What she has been matters not; if the dear Redeemer has espoused her to himself, you may take her to wife, if there be a mutual affection between you. Many a Magdalen has made an affectionate wife, after the reception of humbling grace at the Saviour's feet. The gospel contrition of poor Mary would have tied my soul to her, if she had been appointed for me, more close than the celebrated beauty of the fairest atheist in the world. A divine affinity is a strong tie, and is sure to strengthen the other. But take this by the way, if you marry her, you must expect now and then a taunt from some of her old acquaintances; and she may sometimes, even when you are with her, meet with a vulgar salutation from her old companions. I would have you consider before hand whether these things would sit easy, upon your old man.
Besides, God sometimes sends the spirit of jealousy upon a man, and he is jealous of his wife, which is intended to bring iniquity to light, Numb. v. 15; but sometimes it is to put a stop to iniquity in its conception; and sometimes to damp inodinate affections in married people, Gen. xxx. 2. Under such a spirit you might get distrustful of her fidelity; and her past life would serve to feeed the fire. What think you of these things as causes and impediments? I hope you will weigh these matters before you take the yoke upon your neck. If you cannot make her pull down her high head before marriage, you are not likely to do it afterwards. I would make her dress like a woman professing godliness, or I would have nothing to do with her. I doubt her heart is not truely humbled; if it was, she would hate even the garments spotted by the flesh. If she dressed like an harlot, and is not one in heart, she acts the part of an hypocrite; and the harlot that mimics in dress the modest woman does the same.
The word of God gives us a true portrait both of the harlot and the woman professing godliness. You read of the short light ury attire of an harlot; of the mincing trip and step of their feet; of the catch and stretch of their neck; of their tires, muffers, noods, and veils; of their ornaments, trinkets, and jewels; of their changeable suits of apparel; of the wanton roll, dart, and cast of their eyes; and of the whore's forehead.
Now I think if her soul has been truly humbled by evangelical repentance, and her heart and affections purified by living faith, that she would take this conspicuous sign down. Why does she keep the sign out, if she has left off business? It ill becomes people who have left off trade, to mock their customers with an empty sign.
Far be it from me to cast a reflection on the vilest mortal on earth that God receives to mercy. But I know that an internal change of heart,by the power of God; will always be accompanied with an external conformity to the word of God; therefore if she is so dotingly fond of the signs, I should suspect her aversion to the business.
Women favoured with gospel faith are commanded to copy after their royal and venerable mother, whom God himself named Sarah, the royal lady and princess of many. Royal she was, for the King of heaven had crowned her with his blessing; and promised a numerous, natural, and spiritual progeny. "I will bless her,and she shall be a mother of nations." Male believers ay look to Abraham their father; and female saints may look to Sarah that bare them; for they are her daughters as long as they do well, and are not afraid with any amazedment, I Pet. iii. 6. But I doubt your intended will never obey you; it is in vain that she calls you lord, if you cannot prevail upon her to strip herself of her wanton attire; she may calll you lord, lord, but that is not sufficinet; she ought, in this, to do the things that you say. God has commanded her to dress in modest attire, as becometh women professing godliness with sobriety, and "Not that outward plaiting of the hair, or of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price; for after this manner in old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves."
It is natural for every person to endeavour in dress and behaviour to please the object they love. If God the Saviour be her object, she will dress to please him, and even bathe his feet with tears, arid make a towel of her hair, rather than plait it to offend him, by entangling mankind in wickedness.
But if she is only a feigned professor, in all probability she aims at entangling your person in wedlock; and when this is done, the unclean spirit will return with six more of the same stamp; and you as an husband will only serve as a screen to her wickedness. I hope you will look before you will leap, as the proverb is, for you know a person habituated to the devil's service can never be a stranger to the serpent's wisdom; therefore you ought to be as wise as a serpent to find her out, the harmlessness of the dove is hardly sufficient.
The Lord direct my young brother in this matter! human counsel will not do, unless God think meet to bless it. If she be a chosen vessel, and effectually called to repentance, you may, under God, be a blessing to her; and a lawful antidote in future against her besetting sin; but if you are deceived by her, the galling yoke will be all your own; and enough to perplex your soul, and bow your neck till the day of your death; therefore pray; and get an answer from God, and he will direct you in the way you should go. Fare thee well.
Thy willing Servant in the gospel of the Lord,
W. H.
"For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and godhead."–Rom. i. 20.
Now sable night her veil has spread, bedeck'd with solemn gloom,"Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge; there is no speech nor language whore their voce is not heard."–Psalm xix. 2, 3.
"I am like a pelican of the wilderness; I am like an owl of the desert."–Psalm cii. 6. "I went mourning without the sun: I stood up, and cried in the congregation. I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls."–Job xxx. 28, 29.
"The glory of Lebanon shall come unto thee, the fir tree, the pine tree, and the boa together, to beautify the place of my sanctuary; and I will make the place of my feet glorious."–Isa. Ix. 13.
"And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season: his leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."–Psalm i. 3.
"I will be as the dew unto Israel; he shall grow as the lily."–Hos xiv. 3.
"As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion, for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore."–Ps. cxxxiii. 3.
"For this is as the waters of Noah unto me; for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee. For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee."–Isa liv. 9, 10.
"And this word, yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things that cannot be shaken may remain. Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved let us have grace."–Heb. xii. 27, 28.
"Thus saith the Lord which giveth the sun for a light by day, and the ordinances of the moon and of the stare for a light by night. If those ordinances depart from before me, saith the Lord, then the seed of Israel also shall cease from being a nation before me for ever."–Jer. xxxi. 35, 36.
"For the stars of heaven and the constellations thereof shall not give their light: the sun shall be darkened in his going forth, and the moon shall not cause her light to shine. And I will punish the world for their evil, and the wicked for their iniquity."–Isa. xiii. 10, 11.
"Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear."–Matt. xiii. 43.
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